Lost but Found In The Eyes Of Grace, Another Walk With God

Love

2012-01-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

The low early sunshine was streaming through the room and when I was peeping through the window, the grass was grey with dew. There was a very dark-wooded tree, about the size of an apple tree. The leaves were whitish and rather papery, like herb called honesty, and it was loaded with little fruits that looked rather like dates. And I closed my eyes and began to spread my imaginations. Far away,and down near the horizon, the sky turn into grey. A light wind, very fresh began to stir. The sky, in that one place grew very slowly and steadily paler. I could see shapes of hills standing up dark against it. All the time I heard voice went on singing.

The eastern sky changed from white to pink and from pink to gold . The Voice rose and rose,till all the air was shaking with it. And just it swelled to the mightiest and most glorious sound it had yet produced, the sun arose. The sun above looks different. I could imagine that it laughed for joy as it came up. That was how I felt and imagined at the same time when love began filled my heart. A heart of stone which was lodged in my chest turned into a loving heart when I felt the love of God in many perspective in life. I began to see the needs of others and learned to be sensitive about it from time after time. I also began to experience different kind of friendship.

Gift

2011-12-13T00:28:00.000-08:00

I don't ask you to cry because of me.

I don't want you think I am important.

I don't hope you will miss me.

I don't hope you will love me.

I don't want you choose me over family.

I don't want to see you struggle each day because of me.

I don't hope you come to advise me.

I don't want you come and wipe my tears away.

I don't want to see you passing me by each day looking at me.

But you still thinking about me.

But you still concern about me.

But you still miss me so much.

But you still love me for who I am.

But you still treat me like I am a part of your family.

But you still can overcome challenges because of me.

But you still insist to advise me and telling me to focus in my studies.

But you still give me a tissue to wipe my tears away.

But you still pass me by and smile at me.

Every time I am with you, I can be myself around you.

Every time you look at me, I am brave enough to look at their eyes.

Every time you smile at me, I can smile back to you.

Every time you play with me, I can feel all the fun and excitements.

Every time you share stories with me, I can learn to understand many situations.

Every time you share you thoughts with me, I learn to understand you more.

Every time you miss me, I can feel it too when I look at your eyes.

Sometimes I am nervous when you are with me because I am so excited about you.

Sometimes people misunderstood that I actually falling in love with you because I always smile.

For me,you are like a part in my family.

For me, I could only love you as a friend.

I appreciate you so much.

I love you so much.

I miss you so much.

Thank you my friend.

Forever Gone

2011-12-12T23:43:00.000-08:00

I’m sitting in the dark,
Another cold and empty day.
In a black and white world
My life slowly fades to gray.
My heart feels crushed and empty
Broken beyond repair.
Does it even matter?
Should I even really care?
I’m feeling so lost
How did I lose my way?
So many words in my head,
Still I had nothing to say.
I never told you
The way I felt inside.
You never knew
About all the tears that I’ve cried.
I tried to be strong
Even though I was scared
I put on a smile,
Never showed that I cared.
Now I’m so far gone,
And no one can see
How far I ran
To escape being me.
I fell through the cracks
Never made a sound.
And even though now I'm screaming
Still there’s no one around.
Am I lost here forever?
Will there ever be a day,
Or am I stuck in this place,
To never find my way?
So I close my eyes
And wait for the sun
Fading away,
Feeling forever gone

Endurance

2011-11-09T05:53:00.000-08:00

Matthew 5:10-12

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven...."

Romans 8:16-18

"The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

I pray that God will give me the strength to live. As a Christian, I almost give up in certain areas of my life. I guess I need to pray harder and spend time with God more. Spending time on worldly stuff really makes me blind. Although I can see but without the passion and hunger living for God, all I see is worth nothing. You see, I do not call myself a righteous person and I never think I am a strong person to finish the race. All I think is I am just a normal person living a simple life but facing many challenging trials in my life. All I need is God. I need to obey God. And heart really matters. A humble and obedience heart to God. The one true God is Jesus Christ.

I pray that we will finish the race for God. All glory and honor to Him.

Insight View

2011-11-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

   Forgive me for not able to live in your expectations. You have a mind of your own and so am I. If you find difficulties to understand me and to accept me for who I am, it is not your fault. To be frank, it is unnecessary to change your mindset to accept me for who I am. The fear of rejection is blind and leads to destruction of my innermost self. Therefore I realise individualism is much better than public acceptance as long as you have a close intimacy with God and have a pure heart living for God. Individualism but without faith and intimacy in the Lord Jesus is blind. Without a heart and a desire living for the Lord Jesus Christ, we will definitely loss track of life or even worse loss the beauty sight of life and true meaning of life. For example,

   Lady Gaga. She is one of those individualism who loss track of life. Her true name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. Of course she has a religion. But she has no close relationship with God. Christianity is not a religion but a close relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ! Christianity is also about believing and confessing that Jesus is Lord and there is no other gods before Him. She has a Roman Catholic background but for her that is just duty and religion.She also described her academic life in high school as "very dedicated, very studious, very disciplined" but also "a bit insecure" as she told in an interview, "I used to get made fun of for being either too provocative or too eccentric, so I started to tone it down. I didn't fit in, and I felt like a freak."

   I understand what she is going through because I feel that way too. People always make fun of me. Usually people always judge me especially with their criticism. Of course I feel like a freak and begin to be part of individualism. I will cry silently. But the love of God is so incredibly real in my life that it change everything. The love of God transforms me and renewing my strength to live day by day. Although I am a part of individualism, I stand for what is right and just! I am not afraid and ready for consequences.

I give you one of the picture where many people in the class pointing at me. Probably it is just a joke and I do not take it seriously. I am happy and smile looking at the camera. The class is not so bad after all. I like them for who they are. Eventually I begin to see something in them and be positive about it.

I always dance wherever I go especially in the classroom. By the way, I have no intentions showing off my talent. I dance because the movement totally inspires me and I can praise the Lord with dance and thanksgiving. But my classmates laugh and discourage me to dance. They tell I am not a talented person and insulting me with their words. However, I take it as a public commentary. One day, I am so inspired and motivated to dance with my friend, Farhanah Khaidir. We take it just a regular practice every Friday but slowly we begin to look up for the Independence Day performance.for most of our rehearsal, some of our friends laughing at us. Anyway, we know we are doing the right thing so we continue the dance routine. The dance routine is based on contemporary dance with ballet and some expressions technique. Farhanah Khaidir really work hard on it and there is a teamwork to achieve the goal. I am truly thankful for her. I am thankful because she believes in me to be my dance partner. And I remind her to be herself when she dance. She has touch the core of my heart for everything especially the moment when I realise that to have a dance partner is also about growing and maturing in friendship with her. So on they particular day, both of us nervous. Many people looking at us... Some staring at us and it seems unbelievable to them. But we continue to dance just like the good old days. She says that she is thankful for helping her to believe in herself and able to stand on her feet with confidence in front of the audience. The dance is not about showing how great or talented we are. It is a normal dance and simple movement but comes from a humble heart and a true friendship.

This is one of the pictures taken before we perform . Farhanah is standing on the right.

I must letting go of negative people. Instead of the negative impact given by them, I must give positive impact in return. I must be positive and how wonderful it is the magic of thinking positive. I must say, I am a victorious. Nothing is impossible when you begin to believe. Do not be afraid of what the world is saying about you, as long as you are standing for the truth, that is most important. When you choose to forgive others that hurt you, you will see many wounds get heal miraculously and eventually you grow become a lovable person. I thank the Lord Jesus for His grace and mercy in my life.

Keep running by faith

2011-10-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

Hello there!

It has been a long time and I am back to post something....

I just want to share with all of you that my life is always challenging. When I almost give up everything in my life, at that particular juncture, I realise there are many people who are facing difficulties and challenges in their life as well. I begin to look up to God. I admit that sometimes I complain but as I begin to surrender everything and trusting in His next step, slowly I begin blossoming and I learn to appreciate everything in life. God is my strength and refuge. The Lord Jesus Christ will bring me up to a higher level though I am facing difficulties. Jesus loves us.

Dedicated To A Very Special Friend, Sabrina Simon

2011-07-03T05:16:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABRINA SIMON

Dear Sabrina Simon,

I don't have many friends but being your friend is one of the greatest joy and strength for me in lifetime. I love you Sabrina Simon. You teaches me to be strong and build my courage to conquer the giants! Thank you my friend. The smile on your face shows me that you are a true and wonderful person. Your passion in badminton helps me to build my faith to keep going on in chess. You are so vigorous person, full of energy wherever you are with your whole heart.

As I look,

Beyond the ripples of my reflections
To examine my inner self,

The ripples begin to fade,

As the reflection lays beside me,
Grasping my hand,
The inner warmth shields me,
And the vision of my reflection appears,
I see you,

My Friend.

Today is your 16th birthday.

If your eye's upon the stars,
in the crystalline darkness,
I'll become the moon.
And the light shall guide you.
If you rest upon the ground,
in the warmth,
I'll become the grass.
And embrace you.
If you turn outside,
in the wetness,
I'll become the rain.
An upon your forehead, kiss you.
If you free the air,
in the light of day,
I'll become the sun.
And smile for you.

Between the miles-
if you need me.
If you need a friend.
Let me be the friend, I want to be.

You are so beautiful just the way you are.

Closed Chess Competition ( Juniors )

2011-06-24T04:03:00.000-07:00

Date: 25th – 26th June 2011
Time : 8:00 am – 5:30 pm
Venue: Dewan, Maktab Sabah

Actually it is open for those national players too. Come and join. I am eager to play with Aurora Fay.

Tournament Regulations:
01. All players shall take part in a 7-round Swiss System individual event.
02. The games will be played according to the schedule below
03. Time Control is 45 minutes each.
04. The Sabah Chess Association reserves the right to reject entries.
05. Limited to 100 participants only (50 boys and 50 girls).
06. Final score (Solkoff, Sonneborn Berger, Cummulative)
07. Notation is not required.

Programme
Day 1 (25th May 2011, Saturday)
08:15am – 08:50am Registration
09:00am – 09:15am Short Briefing
09:15am – 11:00am Round 1
11:00am – 12:30pm Round 2
01:30pm – 03:00pm Round 3
03:15pm – 04:45pm Round 4
04:45pm – 05:30pm BLITZ

Day 2 (26th May 2011, Sunday)
08:30am – 10:15am Round 5
10:15am – 11:00am TALK: Chess Clinic by Mr. David Chin
11:15am – 12:45pm Round 6
02:00pm – 03:30pm Round 7
04:00pm – 05:00pm Prize Presentation, Closing and Refreshment

Happy Birthday Raymond Kong

2011-06-24T03:55:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to a friend who made a big impact in our life.

Everyone should have

a friend like you
You are so much fun to be with
And you are such a good person
You crack me up with laughter
And touch my heart with your kindness
You have a wonderful ability
To know when to offer advice
And when to sit in quiet support
Time after time
You've come to my rescue
And brightens so many
Of my routine days
And time after time
I've realized how fortunate
I am that my life includes you
I really do believe that
Everybody should have a friend like you
But so far it looks like
You are one of a kind!

Words unable to express our innermost feelings of friendship towards you but it can feel by the heart.

Thank you

Exam

2011-05-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

“Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working."

I agree on the whole. The whole context of it strongly reminds me that as long as you keep on going on and never give up you can achieve your goals. And I can assure you that our fate is in God's hands. If God allows it to happen,so be it.

I am ever ready to learn back to the basics especially for the moment I am going for brainstorming session.
My currently exam result is satisfying but I can do it much better! My rank in the class is 2 / 39 and my rank overall is 80/ 396.

I can do it much better!Praise The Lord!

Something Must Be Wrong?

2011-05-27T01:19:00.000-07:00

Seeing myself again on the mirror, what is wrong with me? I take a deep breath and close my eyes,deep imagination begin to take place as I begin reflecting everything.

What is wrong with me?

I admit that I am quite average especially with all my performances. It being the fact that everyone are doing much better than me.

In my own perspective of view, winning in life is not necessary for me. Winning is not a big deal for me.
I speak the truth that instead of winning, I rather let others win with their own understanding that they win!

What is wrong with me?

Again and again I keep on asking myself. What is wrong with me? Hey! I am me and being real with myself every time. Again I ask myself, " How do I know I am me and not being someone else? "

Because all the time I accept my weaknesses. Instead of saying how great I am, I will say I am indeed so small and there are many people are greater than me. Instead of saying how smart I am, I will learn again from A-Z.

Tears rolling from my face when I begin to reflecting my school days.

Everyday I need to work hard to achieve satisfying results in examination. Mostly people misunderstanding me especially my classmates. Or perhaps I am wrong and I am the one misunderstanding them?

If only everyone in the class can communicate well with one another and each one given a chance to express their innermost thoughts by not fearing one another.

Perhaps those in class do not wish to be understood? Perhaps they need more attention from us? What are their needs? Why must they say such bad words? Are they dealing with bad childhood experience?

What is wrong? Why I am so concern about them? What is so important for them to be loved?

Those people that hurts my feeling, all I can do is to forgive them with all the tears I have for them.
They ( people in class ) worth to be appreciated and they worth to be in my mind every time.

And so life need to continue but I choose a path that promise me A WALK WITH GOD ( real God and the only one true God who is our best friend and also a teacher )

The Lord understands us even better than anyone else.

( I will return for part 2 - EXAM )

Do not Despair, For There Is Hope & Life

2011-05-14T05:41:00.000-07:00

A Lonely Man Sits

Sees His Life Passing Him By

A Best Friend Walks In

As in life when I am about to reflect everything in the indescribably mirror, with struggles I'm facing each day nevertheless it is overwhelming but the dusty road begin blossoming as I begin to find my true inner strength by the Grace of the Lord.

How stubborn I am at first, refusing and wants my own way with promising a road of loneliness. I am alone with huge sadness that is overwhelming until I cannot bear anymore. I begin to fall and lying desperately on the dusty ground.

Suddenly I see a sparkling light ahead of me and it is getting brighter until I close my eyes with trembling body. I feel gentle arms carry me away and move me with tears. He carry me and it takes all in good time that I could ever imagine. I feel inner peace deep within my soul. But He lift me down and wants me to walk again.

When I begin to walk I hurry my pace and run as fast as I can. Everything start blossoming.

Jesus Christ First Loves Us

2011-03-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

Being imperfect doesn’t disqualify us from serving God; it just emphasizes our dependence on His mercy.

Lord Jesus, here I am.

2011-02-01T20:51:00.000-08:00

I'm loss for words to describe what I am going through recently. My life is beyond my expectations where my own eyes hardly see the incoming challenges ahead of me.

Indeed it's because God's grace is upon me. God's love for me has sustains me. When I reflect back all my life, I realise I live for God's glory. I thank you Lord for 2011 and your true promises.

I stretch my hands with the hope in my heart saying to Jesus, " Oh Lord! Mighty Lord. You're the one prepares everything and the first one who go before me. So whatever happens, I submit them all to you. I pray that you help and guide me to know your will for me. Teach me Oh God for I shall walk in your light."

Again I take deep breath. I wait for so long but keep on praying. I pray that God will open the way for me to play chess and I play chess for God's glory. Chess is not fame but it's all about doing for God. I lose or win still my heart praise God. By the grace of God, I win the chess tournament recently. There are more tournaments coming next and truly everything is in God's hand

I cry sometimes when I'm doing my best in my studies. I'm out of my comfort zone when I'm studying. Everything I live or everything I do it's all for God's glory.

P.S : Keep me in prayer.

Hold On

2010-12-23T05:57:00.000-08:00

When I saw the book titled "HOLD ON TO YOUR DREAMS", I was inspired with the burning fire deep in my soul. But I asked myself, what was my dream?

I noticed life was beyond out of my words to describe life.

THE LORD JESUS DIDN'T LET ME DOWN

If I were given a chance or perhaps another miracle happened in life, I would let myself disappeared.

Next Week

2010-12-23T04:38:00.001-08:00

I'll be posting everything on 30 th December 2010

* keep me in prayer.

Tomorrow On 23 rd December 2010

2010-12-22T01:58:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone.

Tomorrow I will take my examination results. The examination known as Penilaian Menengah Rendah.

And I obtain 4 A's 1 B for the primary school examination also known as Ujian Penilaian Rendah.

Honestly, I expect only 2 A's tomorrow.

My MINOR EXPECTATION for the result

Malay : Gred C

Inggeris: Gred A

History: Gred A

Geography: Gred B

Science: Gred D

Mathematics: Gred C

KHB ( Life Skills ): Gred C

( Class Awaits Me Next Year Due To MINOR RESULTS - 4 PERDAGANGAN )

I know I already give it a BEST SHOT. I aim more A's than that. But now I just hope by faith and trusting the Lord Jesus Christ.

I promise to all you sharing what happen tomorrow.

* PS : Keep me in prayer.

The 3rd National Junior Chess Championship 2010

2010-12-17T20:29:00.000-08:00

Chess always be my passion for entire lifetime. Next year, I'll be training hard for the selection. I will never give up and always put my trust to the Lord, Jesus.

The 3rd National Junior Chess Championship will be organized as details below:-
Date : 15th Dec – 19th Dec 2010
Venue : HOTEL OLYMPIC, JALAN HANG JEBAT, KUALA LUMPUR
Organizer : MALAYSIAN CHESS FEDERATION
TOURNAMENT : 2 Categories ( Boys U-20 & Girls U-20 DOB on or after 1990 )
Time Control: (90 minutes + 30 seconds increment from move 1)
* This event is a FIDE-rated & National-rated event and open to all Malaysian citizens only.

Source: Greogry Lau
Honorary Secretary
Malaysian Chess Federation

Worthy Memories In Life

2010-12-13T21:23:00.000-08:00

In my life, I meet different kinds of people. They have different senses too but it is not changing the fact that they are unique creation of God.

I love them personally inside and outside. And I understand it is not easy to love them especially when they make a terrible mistake in their life and finally dragging you into it. But when you love someone you will always trying finding a way to help the person that you love.

And yes, I do the same too. I know it is hard to tell my friends that I love them. When I am about telling them that I love them, mostly they say I am going out of my mind. But who cares? You might consider but as the time goes by, how much I realise that life is so precious. Loving them is appreciate them. And to love someone I do not expect what will I receive in return.

Loving someone or even your enemy is a great joy. Somebody who make you get cross with you might think that person is enemy. But when you about to love them, you will find a great feeling of peace and joy for your lifetime. And in life, I always learn the meaning of forgiveness.

Jealousy is not something that we can proud with. Jealousy leads us to destruction and unable us to find our real self-esteem. I always telling myself it is alright if I cannot push myself to do something but at least I try it.

Looking myself at the mirror and starting reflecting myself over and over again. When I am about to reaching out the other part of me, I am reaching something that is impossible. I realise that I am wrong and I forgive myself for not able do it.

People have different gifts! And so are you. I have mine too.

My friends is where I can find strength to always believe although I am not reaching them for words of encouragement but when every time I sense their presence with me.

I remember well of them. They are my mother,Vivien who is absolutely a fantastic women, my father,Jubilee who is always finding a way to be a better man of the family, Sabrina Simon who is spartan, Valarie John who is gentle, Mimi Lok the strong lady, Rizaven Chang the magnificent, Raymond Kong who thinks for others, Fitra Qadari who is understanding, Wong Vui Chun who is artistic and many more.

Memories that I spend with everyone will keep it in my heart forever.

Last but not least, loving someone is to have faith in that person.

Serve with love and obedience

2010-12-11T06:29:00.000-08:00

" Here I am Oh Lord "

Swim or Sink?

2010-12-07T05:52:00.000-08:00

Today I realise how important life is.

I owe to myself not to repeat my mistakes again.

This is my fight.

This is my fight.

I forget about facebook. I deleted it and it gone forever.

This is my fight. I KNOW I WILL NEVER ALONE BECAUSE THERE IS GOD, IMMANUEL

But I know it takes a lifetime to forget my friends.

I know it might hurts my friends because when they search me in facebook, the search result is only UNAVAILABLE.

My heart will always remain the same for them. I love them. I love my dad. Everything in life I appreciate well.

The coming PMR result is catching my breathe. Why? Because it will decide whether I enroll Science stream. My passion to be a medical soldier everything depend on the enrollment. But there is always another option. Yes, a better one. Just by faith.

Everything depend with God.

And I will always believe in miracle.

Direction Guidance

2010-11-26T18:57:00.000-08:00

As in life, I need a guide so I can assure that I'm in the right path of life.

Again I ask myself, why do I need a guide and what is so important about having a right path?

I wait for an answer. But it is pointless waiting for it because I strongly feel I need to look for it by myself and not depending on people.

People walking everywhere and just passing me by with the feelings of unnoticed. Those people have their own life too.

I look up and begin to close my eyes. And imagining myself being an abandoned child. I do wonder whether those people lend their attention and mostly their heart for an abandoned child?

Mostly many will walk away but only a few who definitely give their heart for an abandoned child.

I do wonder how many abandoned child in this world? Outnumber. Not many healing hands for those abandoned child because only a few who give their heart for them. How about those unreached abandoned child?

As I about to open my eyes, I see a bright light though it feels absolutely in darkness. I begin to cry if it is truly truth that the WORLD do not have the HOPE and mostly the FEAR OF GOD and LOVE.

But for these simple act on kindness from a few people just for the abandoned child, it is hope.

I finally begin to open my eyes and look wide.

In the street, I see many people walking aimlessly and seeking. I am not the only one who search for an answer because I see there are many who walk silently and do wonder in their mind their own questions about life.

And I am sitting on the bench alone. As I begin to appreciate what this life is offering to me, the sea is calm and the birds are flying high at the blue sky.

Suddenly I feel a gentle hands on my shoulder. I look behind and I see a loving smile from a stranger who is wearing absolutely white.

There is he asking politely and gently to sit just beside me. Normally strangers always give me insecure feelings but this time it is DIFFERENCE. I feel secure. And somehow I know I can trust him.

I allow him to sit right beside me. Then he suddenly hugs me wholeheartedly. Deep in my soul and spirit I feel I know this man.

It is God! A God who is my friend and also a great teacher. A God who really loves you and me. A Loving Father in heaven. It is God!

He asks me gently and kindly, " Abigail, what are you searching for in your life? "

I look up and see that His face full of splendor and glory.

I answer him back, " I need answer. "

He says to me, " Tell me what is your question about life? "

I begin to question Him., " Tell me Oh God! Why do I need a guide and what is so important about having a right path? "

He reply me, " For your salvation through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith in me. So when the day come you may enter the gates of heaven and rejoice and praising me. That is eternal life which I promise to all of you."

I plead to God so He will stay longer. But in His promise, He never leave us and always loves us from the inside and outside.

Dear readers,

I thank you for reading my very simple post about my life. And I believe you do have questions and something you really desire for in your life.

You may seek it for the rest of your life but there is somebody who understands you much better than anyone else in your entire life. That is God, Jesus Christ. You can build a close relationship with God. God is absolutely a great friend and teacher.

God does not count every mistake you do in your life. But God wants you to hold on His arms of everlasting love.

You may face difficulties in your life one day. Perhaps you will cry and it is okay to cry. Because I will also cry when I face challenges. But it is God's grace I endure and conquer these challenges.

How about giving up in life? You do not need to give up in your life. Because there is HOPE. A REAL HOPE IN THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.

Have a blessed day. Good day to all of you.

A Very Simple Reflection Of Me

2010-11-22T01:33:00.000-08:00

This are my pictures when I am dancing contemporary dance representing the class on the stage. Altough not many pictures I select on the blog but I just want to share these joyful experience with you. I thank God for helping me dancing wholeheartedly. Praise God.

2010-11-22T01:13:00.000-08:00

I feel like falling into the great sea while waiting the great wind to carry me through...

2010-11-05T06:33:00.000-07:00

I feel like crying but I know that I must be strong in the Lord Jesus Christ

Dark Horse

2010-11-02T00:44:00.000-07:00

I am soloist in performing contemporary dance tomorrow . I don't mind if my friends laugh at me in the way I am expressing myself in dancing. Besides I am more open to optimism :D I am absolutely nothing without God because God is the one who bring me up in whatever circumtances. Humbleness is what important the most especially when I dance tomorrow.
Words could not express my love for my friends.. But what I am going to tell them through the contemporary dance is more than words. Absolutely it is more than dance.
But some of my friends think that it is not appropriate for me. They tell me I am not going to make it but somehow I stand firm and say : I will not give up. I CAN! I BELIEVE the POSSIBLE..Because I believe in this : Let's break the word IMPOSSIBLE into two. Here it goes : I'M POSSIBLE! All praise to the Lord Almighty for everything.

My Friend

2010-10-14T00:03:00.000-07:00

Then I smiled. And my smile was as wide and warm as the one he smiled in return.

2010-10-11T06:11:00.000-07:00

What for am I writing all these? To be unheard and to be unknown? Does that matter to me? So let my mind speak. Thousand thoughts but none. Silent. Only loneliness. In the amidst of people, I hear in the deep heart's core that the world tickling competing and fastidious. Regretting in time. I shall weep no more.

I give my first love to you Oh Lord

2010-10-07T23:29:00.000-07:00

I have a friend whose name is Wong Vui Chun. He is the same age as me. And he mean very much to me. I love him wholeheartedly not because I have fallen in love but only as a good friend. He is indeed a true friend.
I love to see him each day. We are in different classes now. He is in the first class meanwhile I am in the second class just located beside his class. Oh how terrible I feel when I am in the second class. In my personal view, will he look down on me? It is impossible to forget our friendship. Such friendship is hard to find. Money even cannot but that friendship. Therefore I appreciate him.
As the time goes by, I keep on seeing him mostly during recess time. I do not understand why I feel afraid to say hello to him and start the conversation. I know I miss him terribly but I keep remain silent. I feel happy because I know it is for the best for us. Somehow I feel that he wants to talk to me but I just ignore it. I keep remembering that he need to focus and study hard in his life. I keep remembering that he also need to grow in love in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I think too deeply for him. I pray that he may find his strength and everything in the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank God for him. I keep on praying for a miracle so we can be in the same class. Wow! During PMR, we are in the same class. He sit next behind me.

I remember that in life there is always a friend. Somebody who can we hope and share everything together. Our friend is in Jesus Christ. Peoples that we hope for will die or perhaps leave us. But the love of Jesus Christ for you and me never fade away. Jesus Christ is our enternal friend.

Prayer For Today

2010-09-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord, I know You have amazing plans for me. Please give me that hope for myself. Help me to learn who I am and present myself to You and others with no fear of rejection. Amen.

2010-09-21T02:25:00.001-07:00

You

2010-09-13T03:25:00.000-07:00

Whoever you might be out there, you're not accidentally reading this post. And this dedicated for you from my heart.

Dear you,

Life is extremely hard,

With facing the obstacles each day,

Without knowing what come next in between,

And you stand strong in faith.

Thoughts are coming in all directions,

And the mind playing foul tricks,

Your choice to make seems endless,

Amazes me when you learns from mistakes.

Life is not beyond of concerns,

Without meaning and purpose,

The broken heart in emptiness,

You search hope.

For the Sake Of Love

2010-09-11T03:32:00.000-07:00

Honestly saying, I have many weaknesses in myself. I know. I know the way I see myself is totally wrong. Life is not about me at all.

Please correct me if I'm wrong. I always wrong most of the time. Eventually each time I learn to be patience and the most important, I learn to appreciate others. Those people around me. Family. Friends. Strangers. You.

I feel like realising something deep in my inner being. Letting go of dreams means self-sacrifice. Perhaps it is for everyone benefits.

I'm sorry.

If the Lord really wants me to go for my dreams, Jesus Christ will eventually opens the way. But firstly God will led me another breakthrough in life.

Lord, I know nowadays I don't really communicate to you. You're the greatest gift I have in life. You're truly proven everything in your Word is true. You're a great teacher and friend.

Alright then. I shall give a try grow deep in Jesus love.

Thank you Jesus.

Burn Midnight Oil

2010-09-10T05:57:00.000-07:00

I need to finish the unfinished.

Activities After PMR

2010-09-10T05:20:00.000-07:00

Fear not, there is nothing impossible in God

Get myself and the school team to train in chess. I shall bring my schoolmates to train with one of Malaysian Chess Master, Mr David Chin. But I believe money and transportation will be the main problem in order to achieve it. If the plan not succeed, we shall train together playing and discussing chess skills using chesscube, chess tempo or any other site that we can find resourceful as well.
Learn break-dancing. I hope I can be perhaps more flexible? My favourite part in break-dancing is the top rock. I hope I can battle with my break-dancer teacher again. I finally finds my way doing elbow freeze. I know nowadays mostly people dance for fame and honestly, I'm afraid if I lost my true inner being in dancing.I don't dance for fame. Dancing is just hobby.
Learn to be a better cook from my mother.
I hope to finish reading the Bible. I want to study it carefully. And the Koran, I hope to read and understands some. My dad allows me to do that.
Train my little brother in chess.
Practice violin by my own. I have my own violin.
Save enough money and buy the beautiful chess board in other country.

2010-09-09T03:32:00.000-07:00

JESUS SAVES ME!

When All Seems Lost

2010-09-09T01:01:00.000-07:00

Dreams with a huge dimensions entering and stepping even further. Many doors seems impossible to unlock it but amazingly by dreams everything turns into a reality. Unnoticed of it, it just a fantasy. Upon realising it, it turns into disappointments with tears.

As the old saying goes, life is just like a burning candle.

Oh Lord, You Know ME

2010-07-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

Life is a Gift from our friend. A friend like Jesus Christ who willingly love and accepts us for who we are. Yes, HE IS A LIVING GOD. God only wants us to love HIM wholeheartedly and obey HIS WORDS. In spite of our weaknesses, MIRACULOUSLY JESUS STILL LOVES US.

I AGREE WITH YOU THAT WE CANNOT WALK BY OUR OWN. Are you considering about trusting and surrendering completely to SOMEONE that you trust? Your friends? Your girlfriend? Your boyfriend? Your very best friend? Your mother? OR you think it is okay to keep it by your own but you feel a heavy burden in your heart? Consequently, it affects everything. You think it is okay because it is the ONLY choice?

Jesus never fails. In the Bible says, blessed are those who come and seek me, for they will find me. GOD WANTS YOU TO ACCEPTS HIM AS YOU FRIEND! YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND! HE KNOWS everything- your thoughts, understands your feelings.. Yes. We can trust JESUS.

THE BURDEN IS HEAVY. SO I JUST TAKE WHAT IS NECESSARY. What is necessary for you to decrease your burden? Only one that is SURRENDERING TO GOD.

Are you inviting Jesus into your heart today? Think about it. JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCH. You need to know that God accepts you although you have many weaknesses. Once we accept Jesus Christ and trust in God, my friends, YOUR LIFE WILL BE TRANSFORMED. Your attitude - everything. It is totally from the EVIL ONE who wants to STEAL and DESTROY from you if you think that you do not see any changes in your life once you are HOPING IN GOD,HAVING FAITH IN OUR FRIEND - JESUS.

In the bible says, BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. Whatever it is, we pray. WE MUST RESIST THE DEVIL BY PRAYER WITH FAITH THAT FLY HIGH AND LAST LONGER.

In spite of our weaknesses, MIRACULOUSLY JESUS STILL LOVES US.

2010-05-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

I need to FINISH the unfinished.

My Dad

2010-04-24T04:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Daddy,

I'm sorry being mischievous child. I try everything. But I guess I don't put more effort in trying and I know I need to try even harder. I'm sorry again. I'm sorry for not able telling you real expression from my heart. I'm sorry. I love you so much. Thank you for everything. Thank you because you bless me with this gift. Playing chess.

Dad,

Words could not describe how much love I have for you. Although sometimes you think you're not a perfect dad, don't worry and don't be sad because I'm proud to have you. I'm thankful and I appreciate you for everything. Thank you. Oh daddy. You always want what is best for me. You push me so hard in my studies that far off beyond my imagination and expectation. And still I can't believe that now I almost reach there. Thank you.

Dad,

Without you I could never see the light. Without light, I can't have the hope to continue this super challenging life!! Because you love me, I try to listen everything what you want me to know. I try so hard to understand your decision for me especially in chess. Thank you.

Dad,

One day, I make you proud again because I reach my goal. A doctor. Not only that. I will be a Malaysian Chess Master 6 years from now. I play hard and give it my all. I don't wanna talk much here.. I prove it.

Rise and Shine Sweetheart

2010-04-24T03:48:00.001-07:00

2010-04-24T03:45:00.000-07:00

I pay the minimum amount of attention to all the bad news out there. Thinking positive is all I know.

A Man Just Like You

2010-04-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

Oh how I've been waiting for so long to find a lover like you.

Still here I'm waiting and sitting,still waiting for you,

Oh my heart rejoices when you're here, your open arms,

Crying with much joy to hear your hearts beats,

And now as I'm waiting with no doubting Oh my lover,

Hearing your uttering voices calling my name out loud,

And yes, how much I love you for my heart longs for you,

A man just like you.

Written by Abigail Aneng Abby.

How Do You React If I Might Die One Day?

2010-04-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

Everyone will die one day. If I might die one day, how do you react? Will you cry? Will you grief for my death? Will you bury me with sadness? Talking about death, I'm ready to die but still I have many reasons why I should be living now and be with you. I'm 15 years old this year and let's just imagine if I die suddenly. What will happen? Am I suppose to die at this early age? No. But what can we do if it is our fate if we die at this early age? There's nothing right? I try harder to seek what life is all about. The more I'm searching for it, the more I feel I need to appreciate everything in life. Appreacite : I know it is wrong spelling and my English sucks a lot and definitely yours is better than mine. But being perfect in this life is NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL!! Everyone have their own weaknesses and we NEED to accept each other. What is important then? The only answer I can give is APPRECIATE. I appreciate myself even more. I want to admit that I always feel that I'm the smallest one in this world. When I compare myself to you, I feel you are much greater than I am. But when I appreciate myself, I feel loved. I appreciate my mother and father. Sometimes they are annoying. Sometimes they don't understand me. But if all this time I only want them to do things for me, I need to STOP and TURN BACK. I must give them SOMETHING in return. Finally I try to understand them and what is best for me. And it works!! Although I feel hurt of my decision not to follow what my determination says, it is WORTH giving to my parent. Appreciate the FOOD. There are poor people out there who don't even know what is mac and cheese!! They don't even know what is orange juice looks like. They are simply innocent and only drink WATER. And yes. I myself is choosy about food. But when I learn to appreciate what life is all about, I'm not choosy about food anymore. How about friends? We need to appreciate them. Recently,my friend passed away because of her illness. I feel sad because now I know how much she is telling me about appreciate life. It is a great loss a friend like her you know?? She will always be in my heart. And if only she knows this that I appreciate and miss her. I don't know how much will you learn about appreciate but there are many things in this life in your life you can appreciate. Let's go back to the first question. If I die,how will you react one day? You don't need to cry. All I want is you to appreciate the precious moment when we are together -our friendship.

Seriously This Is Just A Joke! Random huh??

2010-04-23T19:20:00.000-07:00

Blogging was a wonderful experience for me, and I'm so glad to have found a place where I could express my feelings, and read about others too. But everyone's blogging "career" has to end some time, which is why I'm saying good-bye now. I would like to thank you all for making my experience the best in Blogger, and I do wish you all wonderful futures in blogging and in life. It's not you guys, it's me. Don't think twice about it, it's April , not April 1st, so this is no joke. I bid you farewell, and here is just one last thing I would like to say.....

HAPPY LATE APRIL FOOLS!

Hope

2010-03-23T05:50:00.000-07:00

What hope means

Hope is bright shining light which keeps darkness at bay
Hope is the gentle cold breeze on a hot summer day

Hope is to remain positive when going gets tough
Hope is seeking more when others think you had enough

Hope is dreaming of tomorrow
Hope is simmering under sorrow

Hope is sparkles when tears in our eyes
Hope is a beautiful thing & beautiful things never dies

What hope means

Hope is as light as a feather
Hope keeps all of us together

Hope is ubiquitous and free of cost
hope is the last thing ever lost.....

2010-03-21T04:13:00.000-07:00

I had been trying trying to learn the Chinese language from her, but she was not a good teacher. She would go off into peals of laughter at the comical way I pronounced the difficult words of the Chinese language, and it was difficult to get any sense out of her when she was one in his giggling fits. However, I will always appreciate her help in my Chinese language.

You Can Make A Difference

2010-03-03T06:21:00.000-08:00

Oh... I'm facing much difficulties right now. Peer pressure. But as long as I don't give up believing in God and putting Him first in everything, I truly believe it will be done. Many assignments plus with encouragement from my family to strive the best really putting a great effort in me. Nowadays, I can't sleep well. I wake up around 3 a.m. in the morning doing my homework that I almost forgotten about it. I study the concept of Science the best way to understand it. Finally I warmed up myself with non-stop jumping ( but that doesn't mean I rather jump than doing other important things...) And the rest of my days, it is for God. God knows what I want. He is a GREAT God who loves you and me so much. He will always be there for everyone.

Bring It On!!

2010-02-16T22:39:00.000-08:00

I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

UPDATE: CHESS BACK IN MSSM 2010

2010-02-16T22:17:00.000-08:00

Following the announcement by government to reinstate back chess and other sports in MSSM calendar and the question is where and when the event will held ? My source said that most probably the championship will be held in Kuala Lumpur in May,since the process of selecting players to represent schools ,district and state will take a few weeks.Looks like May school holiday is a reasonable time for everybody to make preparation.
My source said that only 16 players will be selected to represent their state instead of usual 36 per state contingent. That meant we have only 4 category will be contested :-
under 12 boy ( 4 players ),under 12 girl (4 players),under 18 boy ( 4 players ) and under 18 girl ( 4 player ). On the hand,the selection tournament will be critical to select candidates in some states as the competition are stiff.

He First Loves Us

2010-02-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

How many times have I sung "Amazing Grace" and not even realized in the slightest the gravity of the sweet word... How little I know and understand grace, but how overwhelming it is. How many times do I wake up tgo to school, go to church and think only about myself... ( Am I selfish? ) No wonder life is so frustrating, you reap nothing when you walk around thinking about your own expectations, instead of seeing through God's eyes and trusting in His hands. How empty, when you think about what you are going to get out of today, instead of what you can do to bless others. How many times do I go through an entire day and not even remember once about Jesus' love on the Cross. I break my own heart- my forgetful mind perhaps absent-minded, frightful tenacity. I began to cry. How many times do I dwell on the past, worry about the future- allow Anxious Thought to cloud my mind in its sloth and vulgar murmur, that I forget to live in the present, the only place where I have Choice.

The choice is yours...

Choice. Today in English, we were talking about choice and how we have so much in our society that it in fact paralyzes us and decreases our welfare- not only that, it distracts us from the important choices in life: our attitude, our actions and words towards others, what we allow inside our heads. And the most important of all: dropping everything to follow God now.

And it all leads back to grace. We want to change ourselves so bad, to become patient with snail paced change, to learn to love in all circumstances, to learn to hope... but all we can do is choose to turn to God, choose to say Yes at that very moment, and everything else is up to grace: sweet, enduring, Amazing Grace.

2010-02-16T20:45:00.000-08:00

I have been reflecting, lately (and frequently throughout my life), on time management. It is hard for me to comprehend, sometimes, that even if I manage my time perfectly I will not get everything done. Letting go of the undone things is a real challenge. Crowding my schedule with too many lists and then always feeling behind is another challenge. As the stress levels rise, I tell myself, "You're doing the best you can."
Instead of worrying that my best may not be good enough, I have been trying to focus on the most important things. Although, most of what I aim to achieve seems "most important." What is more important than the most important? While immersed in my One Hour, I found this: Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good.

I Wanna Grow In Your Love

2010-02-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord Jesus, I couldn't think I can bear it longer. I'm dying of this addiction. And it really hurts! I need your forgiveness. Father, you love me so much. Am I worthy to be call your daughter? And yes. Lord, I'm longing for you. Please..Do not forsaken me for my stubbornness. I'm a fool but Teacher please and teach me Your ways. I'm a lost sheep. I want you to be my shepherd. Bring me back to my home before it is too late.

But Chess Was Never Out Of Her Blood

2010-02-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

For the first time in my whole life, I saw the chess board. I had been there with my dad when he used to play chess with other opponents. Alas. He's not even a grandmaster but as for me, I'm very grateful to have him to be my chess tutor.
We used to play chess everyday and mostly,everywhere. I used to bring the magnetic chess and put in my bag. I was only seven years old at that time. When my dad and I went to the kampong during the church mission, we played chess as usual. I couldn't defeat him in chess at that time but I managed to give him several moves "check " which considered annoying. Oh no! He defeated me. I smiled at him and offered him a rematch. He agreed.
One day, I was tempted by my friend to follow her up in sports. I was only 8 years old at that time and I didn't know anything about sports except running for extra miles! The teacher gave me a task to join in for a race. I nodded my head but didn't said anything. Oh no! Not again! I didn't get the first place! The teacher came and said to me;" Abigail, kau memang tak dapat mengikuti sukan tahunan." That was a devastating moment when she discouraged me and my friend too said I'm a loser. I cried! I cried painfully! I wondered why I never win. I couldn't be like my friend. I said to myself, " Oh! I'm so sorry for you." Then I walked away. Since then, I changed my interest more in books. Surprisingly, my grades was improving drastically.
One day my dad asked me, " Would you define the word on the white board? " I looked at the white board and saw the word : WINNING. I remained silent and said nothing. He offered me a rematch. I accepted it with no esteem of winning. He defeated me. I turned and suddenly the air was full of ANGER. I screamed and said; " I never win! I never win! Not even once!" He replied with a gentle voice, " Oh Dear! Winning is not about everything you can see but losing is about everything. And learn from it! Conquer your fear and I'm sure you will reach your goal." I was amazed. He smiled and said again; " Someday you can be a grandmaster and one day you will defeat me in chess." I replied; " Alright dad, I try."
When I was 10 years old, I registered my name to Puan Jenny for the chess competition. I played with those crazy people. I scored 0 for the whole round. I didn't manage to win the title to be a champion. I cried and din't tell my dad about it until he asked me about the competition. I said; " Saya kalah sudah." That night I walked in my room with a heavy heart. I wondered if what my dad said would be come true. I prayed if God willing to show His way to me. I prayed, " Sekiranya ini jalanmu, tunjukkan saya jalan." And the next following day my dad came and said; " There's something for you. It was a gift from someone." I rushed up to him with such a great excitement! " What's this?" I was puzzled. I opened it and it was a beautiful chess board!! " Who gave this to me?" I asked my dad. And then he replied me; " My friend brought this for you. He was a state player. When he heard that you're good in chess, he wished to give you this. He used to play when he was a small kid like you." "But how about now dad? He's not going to play chess anymore?" My dad replied; " He married to a women and decided to put aside the chess. But he wanted you to accomplish his dream. I want you to do this too." Since then, I wanted to do my very best in chess.
I'm very thankful to have many friends that are supportive. They love me and accepted me for who I am. I played chess with them at church. They rarely lose. Then I had decided to bring books instead of chess at church. Some of my friends rematched me the following year but I said I had forgotten about it. I felt too bad about it but I dare not to ask them. I remained quiet. My school teacher informed me that there will be a open public chess competition at Tanjung Aru. I'm very excited. I told my mum about it and she agreed to bring my brother and I to join in for the competition. I felt nervous as it has been the first time I played blitz. I played with those students from All Saints. Upper and lower forms. The competition ended with a happy moment.
When I was 11 years old. I rejoined myself for the chess club. I played hard and finally I been selected for MSSM Sabah chess competition at Sarawak under 12. Although it was sponsored, I didn't get the chance to play because I considered myself as a back-up player. I played and tried hard and represented state for three years. Unfortunately, I didn't get through for national level.
It was 2009, I didn't trained well in chess. Consequently, my achievements dropped. 2009 was a hard year for me in growing up becoming mature and a teenager. All the negativism had their effect on me. I didn't concentrated well in studies and suicidal attempt occurred in my mind. But God loved me so much. I sensed it every time and mostly everywhere. God had shown His Purpose in my life. His Mercy strengthen me. I made a promise with my dad that if I fail in my further examination, he will not allowed me for joining the chess club or any chess competition. As a result for my last minute preparations in exams, I failed in Maths. I had forgotten the whole thing in Maths. God answered my prayer for a second chance and for the better. God said to me; " Abigail, I WANT THE BEST OF YOU." I smiled and I surrendered it to God.
And now as I'm facing the battle again, I'm not giving up in my faith. The good news is my parents support me in my chess competition and further achievements. They support and encouraged me to give my very best. Am I worried about PMR? The answer is no. My real ambition is not in chess but a medical doctor. Hopefully someday I can be a medical soldier. It is God who changed me being humble and walking in the Light and Truth. It is God who MAKES THE PASSION in chess.

Tell Me Why

2010-01-01T23:55:00.001-08:00

I had revised the whole chapter for Science. The most terrible and ugly part is between chapter 3 and chapter 5 known as chapter 4. How on earth I need to memorize it? I have been asking the same question to my classmates. They laughed and said it was the most natural thing in the world. I cried like a little child today because what my English teacher had done to us. I had make a terrible conclusion for three chapters. She punished everyone which including me. But it was fun. I love my teacher and everyone - you too. Everyone cause great excitement in life. Thank you for punishing me teacher. And thank you for accepting me to be your friend. This will be my last post for the month of January.

2009-12-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

High determination and expectation comes with a great effort and having faith in Jesus. I'm going to convince my parents to give me full support in my further achievements in chess. I'm on a strict schedule and it is truly a miracle if I manage to go on for Chess MSSM Sabah 2010. I'm going to play against Quencie Sipin,Aurora and Fatin. They are top Sabah players. If you are interested knowing more of my achivements in chess check it out on http://i1befree8here.blogspot.com. Hoping to find time to update more about FIDE Chess,World Chess Championship and Chess Grandmaster. Will be sitting PMR within this year. I'm not giving up improving my grades. Hopefully I can survive another year by His grace and mercy. This will not be the last post. It takes time for me to return back to life on blogging. And for now, I'm going to sleep for a thousand years and finally it will bring me back to my senses to focus the most important.

Longing For A Friend

2009-12-12T03:43:00.000-08:00

It has been a quiet day in my life. I've been walking alone at the library searching for someone to communicate with. Suddenly a red piece of paper caught my eye. I stopped to pick it up with amazement because it has beautifully written. As I began to read the writing I began to cry silently. "Whoever finds this,I love you, whoever finds this, I need you. I ain't even got no one to talk to. So whoever finds this, I love you!" It was difficult for me to search the one who had touched my heart but I have determined to do the same.

Grateful

2009-12-05T06:36:00.000-08:00

Out of the blue, I reminisce back the old days and this picture.

Do you know that my life is just like yours? I go to school in order to gain something which is very valuable in life. I make many mistakes in life. I'm just a kid and who am I that to go through rough roads? Not all roads are smooth when I pass through but it is amazing when I want to believe that it takes faith to go through. And yes it is hard but it takes faith to go through. And yes!! I'm still alive!

2009-11-28T16:15:00.001-08:00

Knowing you have trouble managing your time and it seems too confusing is too bad to know and make me wants to encouraging you manage your time wisely. But as a friend, I should respect your decision doing what you think is best. But it is a great thing to know that you're not giving up.

Not Mine But Yours,Oh Lord

2009-11-25T02:57:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry for everything. Being perfect is not what I see and being such a mess is not what I want. You have to know that I don't want to give up improving myself to be a better person. And if you want to yell at me,tell me what's wrong with me. Then I will explain everything to you. You can't judge me without knowing the truth. But you have to know that I will always forgive you. I'm not absent-minded. But sometimes I will forget something. Thank God I don't forget the whole thing in life. But I make mistakes. And you have to know that I don't want to run from what I fear the most. Although I'm a coward, but I will hold on my faith because it takes faith to go through. And yes it is hard. You know what it is easy to quit but it takes faith to go through. I believe it takes faith to go through. Just don't give up. Never.

What Courage Looks Like

2009-11-19T05:27:00.000-08:00

" This is what I had learnt in life. "

If you open it,close it.
If you turn it on,turn it off.
If you unlock it,lock it up.
If you break it,admit it.
If you can't fix it,call in someone who can.
If you borrow it,return it.
If you value it,take care of it.
If you make a mess,clean it up.
If you move it,put it back.
If it belongs to someone else and you want to use it,get permission.
If you don't know how to operate it,call in someone who can.
If it's none of your business,don't ask questions.
If it ain't broken,don't fix it.
If it will brighten someone's day,say it.
If it will tarnish someone's reputation,keep it to yourself.

I Believe It Takes Faith To Go Through

2009-11-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

I believe God is with us at all times. Although I'm not that strong in life but what I have is hope to believe something great will happen for all of us. Hope is what I believe and it is so great that make me to hold on faith. I believe through all our failures, we won't get knocked down but we will get up. I believe that I will see the happiness and compassion in others. And I believe it is going to be a great day for all of us. It takes faith to go through.

Fallen Love In Chess Over And Over Again

2009-11-10T15:57:00.000-08:00

Although I don't play that good in chess but some people have the feelings I'm quite talented in chess. Actually I'm an average chess player you ever found. It is an honour to play chess with everyone.

Prayer For Today

2009-11-09T18:33:00.001-08:00

Dear Lord, I know You have amazing plans for me. Please give me that hope for myself. Help me to learn who I am and present myself to You and others with no fear of rejection. Amen.

But Consider This

2009-11-09T05:22:00.000-08:00

Whenever I'm disappointed because of my failures,I stop and think about what I had learnt in life. I was trying out my best in school. My parents told me that I had my heart set on being in it,though they feared I would disappointed with my achievements. I rushed up to my parents,eyes shining with excitement and a joyful smile. "Guess what,Dad and Mom," I said in uttering voice, and those words that I remembered what I had said to them : "Through all my failures,I realized that it's not whether I get knocked down,it's whether I get up."

Dedicated to Sabrina Simon

2009-11-09T05:06:00.000-08:00

If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain ,
I would keep you out for hours in the storm,
I would hold your hand, like I treasured the most,
And underneath the thunder we would be warm,
If I had only known it was our last walk in the rain
If I had only known I would never hear your voice again,
I would memorize each thing you ever said,
And on these lonely nights,I could think of them once more
And your words alive inside my heart
You were the treasure in my heart,
You were the one who always stood beside me,
So unaware,I foolishly believed that you would always be there,
But then there came a day when I closed my eyes,

And you slipped away.
Now I am waiting you,hoping your small voice again.
Forgive me for disappointing you.

Be My Good Friend

2009-11-09T03:53:00.001-08:00

I didn't know the one who was sitting beside me. But I did notice that we both proud sitting in front,with a good condition desk. We were beginning the first day of schooling in the year of 2009. As we were about starting lesson,he looked at me. Our eyes met just for a few seconds,but that was enough. Our love for our own future,our concern about our own life welled up in our eyes. I saw him sitting quietly. Perhaps he is shy like me. But never mistake his quietness for lack of intelligence. I smiled at him and said,"I'm glad to meet you. What is your name?" "I'm Wong." He replied. I asked him in return, " Can we be friends? " He did not answer me but nodded his head. He smiled,lovely. Since then,we are good friends until today. As the time went by, we were growing more mature than before. I'm the one in class used to be a shy person. When I felt sad or depressed,I cried silently. And yes. He knew it. Whenever Sarah and Valarie asked me,"Abigail,are you feeling good right now?" I lied to them, " I'm fine. Everything is fine." But I'm getting worse and couldn't handle it well. It refers to something I used to struggling with. All the lies I made had let me down. I had to lie for a strong reason. I felt that I'm worst among all. I felt I'm lacking of faith. But when I saw him praying,that really touched my heart. His humility as a good friend had helped me to see moral values in life. Although he never shared anything about his faith and I hardly communicated with him, I really had seen something that made me to hold this life. And I remembered that God loved me so much.

My Life Is In His Hands

2009-11-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

I am an average student but it is a must for me to be an excellent student. I must get straight A's in PMR. Thinking about my SPM examination in the year of 2014, that would not be easy like a piece of cake. I must pass my SPM examination with flying colours or I will be in a hot soup. I am ecstatic for my achievements in chess and for now, I think I should play more and try to balance my studies and chess. I will always try me best to be chess grandmaster and I am determined to be excellent in both. I hope it is a miracle for me to further studies in Labuan Matriculation College,and then study in University Sains Malaysia/UNIMAS. I am very interested in health sciences. I will keep going on. I try to be optimistic at all times.

I am very shy

2009-11-03T15:54:00.000-08:00

I am very shy. This is what I want you to know. You are my great friend. We are friends and I do like to pass the day with you in serious and inconsequential chatter. I would not mind sitting quietly beside you, studying quietly beside you, reading the back half of the paper while you read the front. We are friends and I would miss you, do miss you and think of you very often. I am very sorry for dissapointing you sometimes. I love you from the bottom of my heart. I cry very often because I am very shy to talk with you. I am afraid that I might lose you. I am afraid I am going to make you sad. But I am very happy when you smile at me. That will be alright when you cannot say a word to me and perhaps you are shy too. And all I hope from you is to accept me and forgive me.

2009-10-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

I really hope that we pass the examination with flying colours. But if I just manage to pass,i really hope it is a miracle to study in 3 AM 1. I hope for your words of encouragement.

2009-09-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

Life has filled me with adventures, laughters and tears. The wild and the ocean have the wonderful healing magic in bringing me back to my center’s self. A fearless life with appreciation, contentment and freedom is what I seek for personal self-interest while bringing betterment to humankind is my final destination. One day, I hope to find my way to a home sweet home where dusty journeys cease to rest and new ones are uncovered.

My Destiny

2009-09-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoy the role of "child". When I was learning I am transported away from the stresses of the day and headlong into the magical process of creating. I often observing simple everyday items or scenery. I want to illuminate the beautiful in the mundane and find the extraordinary in the ordinary.Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes...not so much! But I am always learning. My intention for this blog is to share my passion for being a child of God,my path of life. I hope you will follow along. Come keep me company!

2009-08-25T20:19:00.000-07:00

I keep pushing myself studying hard. I need a break for a while.

2009-07-23T18:06:00.000-07:00

Friendships may not last. Friendships can lose importance and die gradually. Some friendships end abruptly with unresolved conflict. The worst enemy of friendships is change by one or both friends. There is usually pain with the loss of friendship.

2009-06-07T06:27:00.001-07:00

I'm nervous because I'm preparing myself for the examination within 50 days. I'm not using the internet for the time being.

2009-06-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

I often afraid to do things until I'm sure I do them well. Because I don't feel that I have a good inspiration. Although I don't feel like studying now,so I'm going to go out and study slowly,in such lazy,bad form that it does me no good,but at least I will learn something-knowledge.

Because I love you,friends

2009-05-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

I giggled. 'So you wanted me and Sabrina be friends again,' I said. 'That's very kind of you,Fitrah. I have been very happy.' 'And I do not see that it was best to ever hurt her. I do see that. But...why? What's so important about our friendship?'

2009-05-29T03:14:00.000-07:00

It's only a matter of time before I realises what a gift this life is. I now has the chance to take a different path and make my life wonderful.

Sabrina

2009-05-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

I have a friend that used to be a good friend to me. Over the days we have lost touch. I have talked to her but I was afraid that I might losing her again.

2009-05-21T23:18:00.000-07:00

All my life I’ve wanted my parents to be proud of me.

2009-05-21T05:24:00.000-07:00

I am a good student. I do my work and be as quiet as I can be. I don't get in trouble but when teachers yell at other students, they yell in front of the whole class and I don't like that."

2009-05-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

I sat facing the teacher. The time I had dreaded had come. I was going to get exam results. My teacher bounched across the classroom and give the exam papers back to me. I looked at the low number at the top of the page and saw I had not done very well at all.
'Never mind,'said Fitrah kindly,'I know you tried your hardest and did your best, and that's what counts.'
'Is that all you got?'sneered Afifi. 'You must be bottom of the class.' Satan joined in: 'You really are a simple girl,aren't you?' And Satan burst into laughter. Argghh! I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. It was bad enough to do badly, without having Satan telling me that I was useless.
As I bounched slowly after school, still feeling very sad, I talked to Father God and asked why he didn't make me clever. Why wasn't me good at anything? Although Father God told me that I was very special to him, I felt so sorry for myself that I didn't hear what he had to say.
I saw a poster. This is what it said in great big letters. I felt even sadder as I slouched away. ' I wonder why you have to be clever to be talented in this world.' I thought.

2009-05-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

When I am happy, I see the happiness in others. When I was compassionate, I see the compassion in other people. When I am full of energy and hope, I see opportunities all around me.
But when I am angry, I see people as unnecessarily testy. When I am depressed, I notice that people's eyes look sad. When I am weary, I see the world as boring and unattractive. When I open my eyes in the morning, I am not confronted by the world, but by a million possible worlds.

Dear Friends

2009-05-10T04:37:00.000-07:00

Many broken pieces,
Shattered, now apart,
What can I do to mend it?
To mend by broken heart?

As I sit alone,
With the warm sun on my back,
I realise something’s missing,
A part of me which lacks.

Perhaps, I miss the birds,
Chirping sweetly above my head?
All I feel is restlessness,
A part of me is dead.

I know now what it is.
Now I realise what is wrong.
It’s the feeling, they call solitude,
All my friends are gone.

Of course I know,
That as we grow,
We have to make our way,
We all must plot a different course,
To go by everyday.

2009-04-23T05:55:00.000-07:00

I am quite a weird person that like to imagine some things that you could not expect. I fell like to jump off the building and flying away like the birds. I want to be free again.

2009-04-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

I apologies for every mistakes. I hope there is a second chance for me. Because of you,here I stand until today.

2009-04-23T05:31:00.000-07:00

I keep my paint brush with me
Wherever I may go
In case I need to cover up
So the real me doesn't show
I'm so afraid to show you me,
Afraid of what you'll do-that
You might laugh or say mean things.
I'm afraid I might lose you forever.

I'd like to remove all my paint coats
to show you the real,true me,
But I want you to try and understand,
I need you to accept what you see.
So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,
I'll strip off all my coats real slow.
Please understand how much it hurts
To let the real me show.

2009-03-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

Alright, I am preparing myself for my studies. That is why I cannot update my blog for a long time.

2009-03-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

I was worried about my studies,school and many other things that I cannot mention.

2009-03-26T05:54:00.001-07:00

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, but could say, "I used everything you gave me."

2009-03-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

I need discipline. I must be responsible.

2009-03-25T05:50:00.000-07:00

I have to spend 8 hours studying Bahasa Melayu, Bahasa Inggeris, Mathematics, Science, Sejarah, Geografi, Kemahiran Hidup Perdagangan and chess everyday.

2009-03-22T04:03:00.000-07:00

Today was awesome!

2009-03-19T18:44:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce myself. My name is Abigail Aneng. I am 14 years old. I am one of the afternoon students in Lok Yuk High School. My class is 2 AM 1. I am a school prefect. My interests are chess,outer space and many more. My hobby is observing new things. I want to be a great teacher. But my parents want me to become a doctor. My parents think much for me. They are awesome. I will do my best in my studies for good grades. Alright,let me start with something new.

2009-03-19T04:03:00.001-07:00

I do not want to talk because it make me sad. I apologise because it make you feel bad. Somewhere deep inside, I love you.

2009-03-19T03:56:00.000-07:00

Do not go wasting all your emotion,
Lay all your love on me,
Do not go wasting all your devotion,
Lay all your love on me.

2009-03-19T03:54:00.000-07:00

Where are those happy days? These seems hard to find.

2009-03-18T07:28:00.000-07:00

Arghhhh
Gurrrrr
Raooorrr
Ahhhhhhhh
Waaaaaaaaa
Wahahahahaha
Wuuuuuu
Buuuuuu
Hahahahaha
Arghhhhhh

2009-03-04T18:29:00.000-08:00

Being afraid of this life. Everything seems hard for me. There are many reasons why everything seems hard. There are many directions. I am afraid facing the consequences. My heart breaks by them. Consequently,I am afraid of them. And I do not trust anyone because I am afraid of them. I always want to feel if there is someone who could accept me for who I am. Who dares to listen to my secret for this lifetime? Is it you?
There are many different types of people surrounding me. I can see there are many people who try to leading me the way. I can see love from them. I know that they never gives up on me. I can see they have faith. I can feel faith. I want faith. Who is Faith? I know that it is Faith who leads me to a second chance to heal me and know Jesus Christ as my saviour and my Lord.

I Need Your Attention

2009-02-28T06:44:00.000-08:00

I am lacking of confidence. I want to keep running away from all my problems. Consequently,everything goes wrong for me. I feel sad and angry. There are nobody who could understand me and help me to getting it through. I feel that I am alone. I have the feeling that I am losing "the real of me".
I feel sad but always try to find many ways to be happy. I try to dance and many other things. But my friends are running away from me. I am losing them. I try to study more than usual. But I am losing the time to spend with my family. I am losing the"love". But words can never describe how I feel.