Insight View

   Forgive me for not able to live in your expectations. You have a mind of your own and so am I. If you find difficulties to understand me and to accept me for who I am, it is not your fault. To be frank, it is unnecessary to change your mindset to accept me for who I am. The fear of rejection is blind and leads to destruction of my innermost self. Therefore I realise individualism is much better than public acceptance as long as you have a close intimacy with God and have a pure heart living for God.  Individualism but without faith and intimacy in the Lord Jesus is blind. Without a heart and a desire living for the Lord Jesus Christ, we will definitely loss track of life or even worse loss the beauty sight of life and true meaning of life.  For example,

   Lady Gaga. She is one of those individualism who loss track of life. Her true name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. Of course she has a religion. But she has no close relationship with God. Christianity is not a religion but a close relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ! Christianity is also about believing and confessing that Jesus is Lord and there is no other gods before Him. She has a Roman Catholic background but for her that is just duty and religion.She also described her academic life in high school as "very dedicated, very studious, very disciplined" but also "a bit insecure" as she told in an interview, "I used to get made fun of for being either too provocative or too eccentric, so I started to tone it down. I didn't fit in, and I felt like a freak."


   I understand what she is going through because I feel that way too. People always make fun of me. Usually people always judge me especially with their criticism. Of course I feel like a freak and begin to be part of individualism. I will cry silently. But the love of God is so incredibly real in my life that it change everything. The love of God transforms me and renewing my strength to live day by day. Although I am a part of individualism, I stand for what is right and just! I am not afraid and ready for consequences.

I give you one of the picture where many people in the class pointing at me.  Probably it is just a joke and I do not take it seriously. I am happy and smile looking at the camera. The class is not so bad after all. I like them for who they are. Eventually I begin to see something in them and be positive about it.

I always dance wherever I go especially in the classroom. By the way, I have no intentions showing off my talent. I dance because the movement totally inspires me and I can praise the Lord with dance and thanksgiving. But my classmates laugh and discourage me to dance. They tell I am not a talented person and insulting me with their words. However, I take it as a public commentary. One day, I am so inspired and motivated to dance with my friend, Farhanah Khaidir. We take it just a regular practice every Friday but slowly we begin to look up for the Independence Day performance.for most of our rehearsal, some of our friends laughing at us. Anyway, we know we are doing the right thing so we continue the dance routine. The dance routine is based on contemporary dance with ballet and some expressions technique. Farhanah Khaidir really work hard on it and there is a teamwork to achieve the goal. I am truly thankful for her. I am thankful because she believes in me to be my dance partner. And I remind her to be herself  when she dance. She has touch the core of my heart for everything especially the moment when I realise that to have a dance partner is also about growing and maturing in friendship with her. So on they particular day, both of us nervous. Many people looking at us... Some staring at us and it seems unbelievable to them. But we continue to dance just like the good old days. She says that she is thankful for helping her to believe in herself and able to stand on her feet with confidence in front of the audience. The dance is not about showing how great or talented we are. It is a normal dance and simple movement but comes from a humble heart and a true friendship.

 This is one of the pictures taken before we perform . Farhanah is standing on the right.

   I must letting go of negative people. Instead of the negative impact given by them, I must give positive impact in return. I must be positive and how wonderful it is the magic of thinking positive. I must say, I am a victorious. Nothing is impossible when you begin to believe. Do not be afraid of what the world is saying about you, as long as you are standing for the truth, that is most important. When  you choose to forgive others that hurt you, you will see many wounds get heal miraculously and eventually you grow become a lovable person. I thank the Lord Jesus for His grace and mercy in my life.