A child's prayer and thoughts

To pray is to involve God in our daily life and pray form the bottom of our heart. Cry out to God and He hears us.

Dear Lord Jesus, 

In my weaknesses, I come before you. I pray that you have mercy upon me. And in you there's hope and forgiveness. In your forgiveness oh Lord, there's grace. In your grace, I receive salvation. You are my hope oh Lord! Help me to live according to your Word.. I pray that you always touch me emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. Wash away all my guilt oh God! In the Lord Jesus Christ, there's freedom from the bondage of sin. I declare that in Jesus name, I break that bondage of sin! There's no condemnation in Christ Jesus. For you oh God is a merciful God. Let me live led by your Holy Spirit. Thank you Father. I love you. I love you Lord.

PS: I will be posting A Letter To God  in March...

Part Of My Life As A Child...

Hello everyone.... so far my life has been good.... it's all by the grace of God.... Okay... here's a quick review what  happen to me these few weeks...

1. Many homeworks with house chores..


2. I'm stressed mostly but managed to handle it.... trying to be calm when situations seems get out of my hand


3. Resolved some conflicts with friends


4.Trying my best to cope with Chemistry tuition


5.Trying my best find positive values in people and at the same time avoid negativsm


6.Frankly I worry a lot but really pray and surrender my wories to God


7. I practice chess techniques and manage to adapt more positive values inside me


8. I learn to conquer my fear and more balance in my emotions


9.Finding some inspirations for the dance cheorography


10. Trying my best to understand people and not to be self-centered...


11. Learning to focus what is important in life

I also learn that in my difficulties, there's always hope and strength... When I am about to give up in my life especially in my dreams, I still can feel strongly God never give up on me. Anyway, I finally find my strength and refuge in the Lord...

Praise the Lord.

Love

   The low early sunshine was streaming through the room and when I was peeping through the window, the grass was grey with dew. There was a very dark-wooded tree, about the size of an apple tree. The leaves were whitish and rather papery, like herb called honesty, and it was loaded with little fruits that looked rather like dates.     And I closed my eyes and began to spread my imaginations. Far away,and down near the horizon, the sky turn into grey. A light wind, very fresh began to stir. The sky, in that one place grew very slowly and steadily paler. I could see shapes of hills standing up dark against it. All the time I heard voice went on singing.

  The eastern sky changed from white to pink and from pink to gold . The Voice rose and rose,till all the air was shaking with it.  And just it swelled to the mightiest and most glorious sound it had yet produced, the sun arose. The sun above looks different. I could imagine that it laughed for joy as it came up. That was how I felt and imagined at the same time when love began filled my heart. A heart of stone which was lodged in my chest turned into a loving heart when I felt the love of God in many perspective in life. I began to see the needs of others and learned to be sensitive about it from time after time. I also began to experience different kind of friendship. 

 

Gift

I don't ask you to cry because of me. 

I don't want you think I am important.

I don't hope you will miss me.

I don't hope you will love me.

I don't want you choose me over family. 

I don't want to see you struggle each day because of me.

I don't hope you come to advise me.

I don't want you come and wipe my tears away. 

I don't want to see you passing me by each day looking at me.

But you still thinking about me.

But you still concern about me.

But you still miss me so much.

But you still love me for who I am.

But you still treat me like I am a part of your family. 

But you still can overcome challenges because of me. 

But you still insist to advise me and telling me to focus in my studies.

But you still give me a tissue to wipe my tears away. 

But you still pass me by and smile at me. 

Every time I am with you, I can be myself around you.

Every time you look at me, I am brave enough to look at their eyes. 

Every time you smile at me, I can smile back to you. 

Every time you play with me, I can feel all the fun and excitements. 

Every time you share stories with me, I can learn to understand many situations. 

Every time you share you thoughts with me, I learn to understand you more.

Every time you miss me, I can feel it too when I look at your eyes.

Sometimes I am nervous when you are with me because I am so excited about you.

Sometimes people misunderstood that I actually falling in love with you because I always smile. 

For me,you are like a part in my family. 

For me, I could only love you as a friend.

I appreciate you so much. 

I love you so much. 

I miss you so much.

Thank you my friend.

Forever Gone

I’m sitting in the dark,
Another cold and empty day.
In a black and white world
My life slowly fades to gray.
My heart feels crushed and empty
Broken beyond repair.
Does it even matter?
Should I even really care?
I’m feeling so lost
How did I lose my way?
So many words in my head,
Still I had nothing to say.
I never told you
The way I felt inside.
You never knew
About all the tears that I’ve cried.
I tried to be strong
Even though I was scared
I put on a smile,
Never showed that I cared.
Now I’m so far gone,
And no one can see
How far I ran
To escape being me.
I fell through the cracks
Never made a sound.
And even though now I'm screaming
Still there’s no one around.
Am I lost here forever?
Will there ever be a day,
Or am I stuck in this place,
To never find my way?
So I close my eyes
And wait for the sun
Fading away,
Feeling forever gone

Endurance

Matthew 5:10-12

"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven...."  

Romans 8:16-18

"The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." 

I pray that God will give me the strength to live. As a Christian, I almost give up in certain areas of my life. I guess I need to pray harder and spend time with God more. Spending time on worldly stuff really makes me blind. Although I can see but without the passion and hunger living for God, all I see is worth nothing. You see, I do not call myself a righteous person and I never think I am a strong person to finish the race. All I think is I am just a normal person living a simple life but facing many challenging trials in my life. All I need is God. I need to obey God. And heart really matters. A humble and obedience heart to God. The one true God is Jesus Christ.

I pray that we will finish the race for God. All glory and honor to Him.

Insight View

   Forgive me for not able to live in your expectations. You have a mind of your own and so am I. If you find difficulties to understand me and to accept me for who I am, it is not your fault. To be frank, it is unnecessary to change your mindset to accept me for who I am. The fear of rejection is blind and leads to destruction of my innermost self. Therefore I realise individualism is much better than public acceptance as long as you have a close intimacy with God and have a pure heart living for God.  Individualism but without faith and intimacy in the Lord Jesus is blind. Without a heart and a desire living for the Lord Jesus Christ, we will definitely loss track of life or even worse loss the beauty sight of life and true meaning of life.  For example,

   Lady Gaga. She is one of those individualism who loss track of life. Her true name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. Of course she has a religion. But she has no close relationship with God. Christianity is not a religion but a close relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ! Christianity is also about believing and confessing that Jesus is Lord and there is no other gods before Him. She has a Roman Catholic background but for her that is just duty and religion.She also described her academic life in high school as "very dedicated, very studious, very disciplined" but also "a bit insecure" as she told in an interview, "I used to get made fun of for being either too provocative or too eccentric, so I started to tone it down. I didn't fit in, and I felt like a freak."


   I understand what she is going through because I feel that way too. People always make fun of me. Usually people always judge me especially with their criticism. Of course I feel like a freak and begin to be part of individualism. I will cry silently. But the love of God is so incredibly real in my life that it change everything. The love of God transforms me and renewing my strength to live day by day. Although I am a part of individualism, I stand for what is right and just! I am not afraid and ready for consequences.

I give you one of the picture where many people in the class pointing at me.  Probably it is just a joke and I do not take it seriously. I am happy and smile looking at the camera. The class is not so bad after all. I like them for who they are. Eventually I begin to see something in them and be positive about it.

I always dance wherever I go especially in the classroom. By the way, I have no intentions showing off my talent. I dance because the movement totally inspires me and I can praise the Lord with dance and thanksgiving. But my classmates laugh and discourage me to dance. They tell I am not a talented person and insulting me with their words. However, I take it as a public commentary. One day, I am so inspired and motivated to dance with my friend, Farhanah Khaidir. We take it just a regular practice every Friday but slowly we begin to look up for the Independence Day performance.for most of our rehearsal, some of our friends laughing at us. Anyway, we know we are doing the right thing so we continue the dance routine. The dance routine is based on contemporary dance with ballet and some expressions technique. Farhanah Khaidir really work hard on it and there is a teamwork to achieve the goal. I am truly thankful for her. I am thankful because she believes in me to be my dance partner. And I remind her to be herself  when she dance. She has touch the core of my heart for everything especially the moment when I realise that to have a dance partner is also about growing and maturing in friendship with her. So on they particular day, both of us nervous. Many people looking at us... Some staring at us and it seems unbelievable to them. But we continue to dance just like the good old days. She says that she is thankful for helping her to believe in herself and able to stand on her feet with confidence in front of the audience. The dance is not about showing how great or talented we are. It is a normal dance and simple movement but comes from a humble heart and a true friendship.

 This is one of the pictures taken before we perform . Farhanah is standing on the right.

   I must letting go of negative people. Instead of the negative impact given by them, I must give positive impact in return. I must be positive and how wonderful it is the magic of thinking positive. I must say, I am a victorious. Nothing is impossible when you begin to believe. Do not be afraid of what the world is saying about you, as long as you are standing for the truth, that is most important. When  you choose to forgive others that hurt you, you will see many wounds get heal miraculously and eventually you grow become a lovable person. I thank the Lord Jesus for His grace and mercy in my life.  

Keep running by faith

Hello there!

It has been a long time and I am back to post something....

I just want to share with all of you that my life is always challenging. When I almost give up everything in my life, at that particular juncture, I realise there are many people who are facing difficulties and challenges in their life as well. I begin to look up to God. I admit that sometimes I complain but as I begin to surrender everything and trusting in His next step, slowly I begin blossoming and I learn to appreciate everything in life. God is my strength and refuge. The Lord Jesus Christ will bring me up to a higher level though I am facing difficulties. Jesus loves us.

Dedicated To A Very Special Friend, Sabrina Simon

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY SABRINA SIMON
 

Dear Sabrina Simon,

I don't have many friends but being your friend is one of the greatest joy and strength for me in lifetime. I love you Sabrina Simon. You teaches me to be strong and build my courage to conquer the giants! Thank you my friend. The smile on your face shows me that you are a true and wonderful person. Your passion in badminton helps me to build my faith to keep going on in chess. You are so vigorous person, full of energy wherever you are with your whole heart.

As I look,

Beyond the ripples of my reflections
To examine my inner self,

The ripples begin to fade,

As the reflection lays beside me,
Grasping my hand,
The inner warmth shields me,
And the vision of my reflection appears,
I see you,

My Friend.

Today is your 16th birthday.

If your eye's upon the stars,
in the crystalline darkness,
I'll become the moon.
And the light shall guide you.
If you rest upon the ground,
in the warmth,
I'll become the grass.
And embrace you.
If you turn outside,
in the wetness,
I'll become the rain.
An upon your forehead, kiss you.
If you free the air,
in the light of day,
I'll become the sun.
And smile for you.

Between the miles-
if you need me.
If you need a friend.
Let me be the friend, I want to be. 

You are so beautiful just the way you are.

Closed Chess Competition ( Juniors )

Date: 25th – 26th June 2011
Time : 8:00 am – 5:30 pm
Venue: Dewan, Maktab Sabah

Actually it is open for those national players too. Come and join.  I am eager to play with Aurora Fay.

Tournament Regulations:
01. All players shall take part in a 7-round Swiss System individual event.
02. The games will be played according to the schedule below
03. Time Control is 45 minutes each.
04. The Sabah Chess Association reserves the right to reject entries.
05. Limited to 100 participants only (50 boys and 50 girls).
06. Final score (Solkoff, Sonneborn Berger, Cummulative)
07. Notation is not required.

Programme
Day 1 (25th May 2011, Saturday)
08:15am – 08:50am Registration
09:00am – 09:15am Short Briefing
09:15am – 11:00am Round 1
11:00am – 12:30pm Round 2
01:30pm – 03:00pm Round 3
03:15pm – 04:45pm Round 4
04:45pm – 05:30pm BLITZ

Day 2 (26th May 2011, Sunday)
08:30am – 10:15am Round 5
10:15am – 11:00am TALK: Chess Clinic by Mr. David Chin
11:15am – 12:45pm Round 6
02:00pm – 03:30pm Round 7
04:00pm – 05:00pm Prize Presentation, Closing and Refreshment

Happy Birthday Raymond Kong

Dedicated to a friend who made a big impact in our life. 

 

Everyone should have

a friend like you
You are so much fun to be with
And you are such a good person
You crack me up with laughter
And touch my heart with your kindness
You have a wonderful ability
To know when to offer advice
And when to sit in quiet support
Time after time
You've come to my rescue
And brightens so many
Of my routine days
And time after time
I've realized how fortunate
I am that my life includes you
I really do believe that
Everybody should have a friend like you
But so far it looks like
You are one of a kind! 

Words unable to express our innermost feelings of friendship towards you but it can feel by the heart.  

Thank you